I was at a training with inspiring men last week – leaders, coaches, psychologists, entrepreneurs…
Throughout the week we got honest and vulnerable with each other. We shared what we’d rather others not see.
It was freeing and relieving, but some of what these men shared shocked and saddened me:
One man admitted he doesn’t ask for emotional support, even though he wants it.
Another man said he feels pain that he rarely shares with anyone.
Still another man told me that years ago he had considered taking his own life.
And another man shared that although he wants a relationship and connection with women, he ALWAYS goes numb after two dates.
Tears streamed down my face listening to these men. I thought of you.
Because I don’t want you to feel alone, unsupported or stuck.
I don’t want you to hold your pain alone. You don’t have to.
I don’t want you to see it as weak to feel your emotions. It’s definitely not.
The Terrifying Mission
There came a moment in the workshop when the question was posed: “What are you committed to?”
The background of the question was that setting goals is a starting point. After that it takes COMMITMENT — courageous, steadfast commitment — to accomplish our goals.
We were told that creating bigger commitments than we know we are capable of, commitments that may actually seem impossible, call us into more extraordinary results, more success and fulfillment.
As I considered what I was committed to, I had no idea. My mind was blank. It stayed that way for a few minutes.
Then, from the quiet deep inside, I heard the words:
“I am committed to decreasing the rate of men’s suicide.”
For an hour after that I was in tears. It’s SO big, I thought!
How can I even quantify this commitment?
By when can this change happen? How much could it decrease? 1%? 5%? In 3, 10, 50 years?
You Don’t Have to Know How
Ultimately I allowed myself not to know how, yet.
What I know now is that the suicide rate for men is 3.5x that of women! That is unacceptable to me.
What I know is that men often feel alone, unsupported and afraid to seem weak. This can not stay this way.
What I know is that to shift this we have to take a serious look at our cultural and family systems.
Do I know HOW to do this?
But I trust that a mission as big as this will call me forward, inspire collaboration and motivate me to serve in a bigger way in the world. For now that is enough.
There is a connection between having a meaningful mission and having fulfilling connections with women. The more you are inspired by your life, the richer your connections with women get.
So, Test First Name, what are you committed to? What calls you in this precious life?
Take some time today to be quiet and simply listen. Don’t go searching or trying to figure it out. Just wait and listen.
Then take time to share your commitment with someone who respects and cares for you, someone who can hold it with you.
You don’t have to know how to make it happen. Just choose one next step. That’s enough.
You are enough!