How to get the attention you want from great women
A client recently said to me:
“Female attention is no longer a problem! I am surrounded by quality women — who want me! Before it was ‘take what I could get,’ but now I get to choose who I really want.”
I want this for you too. So I decided to interview Jeff about how he got to where he is now.
In this chat you’ll learn how you can:
- Share your “messy parts” and have women come closer
- Be confident about women wanting second dates with you
- Be more vulnerable and feel less fear than ever
- Inspire women’s attraction and desire without lines or games
Here’s a short clip.
Full 20 minute call
Download Full Call
5 quick fixes when you don’t know what to say to a woman
I wanted to send you a message. But I didn’t know what I wanted to say.
Then it hit me!
I often hear this from men. “I don’t know what to say to her.” Or “”what would I say to her?”
In a recent coaching session I realized my client was pressuring himself to carry the weight of the WHOLE conversation. As though the women he talks to have no part in keeping the conversation alive.
Have you ever felt that way?
Have you tried to figure out the next thing to say before a woman responds to your first question?
It’s time to take the pressure off. It doesn’t have to be so hard!
Here are 5 powerful ways to counter the “I don’t know what to say” mentality:
1.
If no words come to you, you don’t have to hide that. Look her in the eyes and say, “I’m not sure what to say to you right now.”
Then pause and take a breath. See what she says. If she doesn’t say anything, check to see what you’re curious about or what you appreciate about her.
If you stay relaxed, rather than panicked, you’ll find your words more easily and she won’t want to run away. It can even become a playful conversation.
2.
Take time NOW – before you connect with new women – to think about what you like to talk about. What inspires and excites you? Note: if your answer is nothing, it’s time to find things that make being alive exciting for you!
3.
Have one simple question you use to start any conversation. From there you can learn to be an amazing conversationalist — to ask questions that evoke women’s emotions, truth, trust and attraction.
My favorite simple question is, “How’s your day going?” There’s something new to talk about every day!
Once she responds, follow the threads of what is most interesting or exciting to you.
4.
Let her carry some of the weight of the conversation. Allow her answers to guide what you say next. It’s not about figuring this all out ahead of time. It’s more like following the breadcrumbs she lays out with her communication (verbal and non-verbal).
You can also ask what she’s excited to talk about or what questions she’d love to be asked.
5.
Go deeper. Beyond the part of you that feels frozen or stuck there’s another part of you that is genuinely curious and relaxed. Take a breath and remember the part of you that’s often alive and well with people you trust.
Here’s one more thing to remember…
Key #5 in my Essentials of Attraction Most Men Never Learn is: Embracing Awkwardness Dissolves Awkwardness.
When you accept that it’s awkward to be human, life becomes easier. Even if on the surface, the woman in front of you seems to have it all together, she is a human being who feels awkward and struggles just like you.
Try this exercise this week to make it easier for you to create engaging conversations:
Think of a recent conversation where someone told you something you didn’t know.
Come up with 5 questions you could have asked.
There will be hundreds of possibilities so this isn’t about getting it right. It’s about building the muscle of making conversation.
Post conversation topics you can’t think of questions for here and I will help! Or post the questions you come up with!
With love,
How to show women your dark(er) side without seeming unmanly
You know those days when you’re not at the top of your game? When things aren’t going your way, or you feel down, upset or pissed off? Those can be the hardest days to connect with women. But they’re also the days when you could use some of that feminine juju to lighten you up. Most of my clients come to me thinking they can’t show “negative” emotions or they’ll be seen as weak or unmanly. But if you pretend you’re “fine” or happy, women’s spidey sense kicks in and they won’t trust you. So what’s a man to do?! The key is this: You CAN show women your darker sides in a way that has them respect and even admire you. It’s HOW you share that has women want to be closer to you or eager to get away … Continue reading →
What I learned about women that you do NOT want to miss
I sat in an audience this weekend watching 10 women bare their hearts and souls. They shared stories about their first sexual experiences, birth, body shame, and even their love of touching themselves…It was the full range of feminine experience! This performance — called the Yoniverse Monologues — was an outpouring of pain and a reclaiming of power and pleasure. (Yoni, if you don’t know, is a Sanskrit word to describe a woman’s genitals or womb.) Women used their voices to free themselves of self-hatred and embarrassment. They reminded all us of our innate goodness and beauty, especially where we’ve been punished, overlooked or abused. Women and men both were blown away by the vulnerable reclaiming. The truth is that women are hurting — just like you hurt. Every woman has a way of feeling unseen, trapped, stuck, disrespected, cut … Continue reading →
A sneak peak into a woman’s dating journal…what’s really going on in there!
Many men I’ve coached forget that women feel nervous and awkward too. Part of my mission with you, with all men, is to let you behind the curtain, to make sense of women and humanize the experiences we share. So you can stop feeling alone, or less than. Because every woman I’ve ever met, at times, struggles to remember her own worth. And when you really get that, connecting with women is much easier. I found a journal entry from years ago when I was struggling with dating. As vulnerable as it feels to share, my hope is that seeing inside my mind and heart will help you see that you’re not alone. And will relax the part in you that thinks you need to be perfect or have it all together. Here’s the journal entry: The heartache I hate … Continue reading →
Try this to feel less awkward with women…
Men often ask me about the first moment of interacting with or approaching a woman. They wonder how to make it easier, less awkward or even “less hellish.” It makes sense to focus on that moment, since if it’s not going well, that’s when the pain is most obvious. But there’s a background to that moment that’s not always apparent. When you understand it it takes the pressure off you in that moment. Because when you’re about to interact with a woman, you bring the background of your life with you. In addition to you she interacts with your beliefs and feelings about yourself, life and women. She gets a sense of how you treat your body. And even if she can’t put words to it, she senses your relationship to your work, friends and family. So the more you … Continue reading →
Appreciation
Something that has worked really well in my relationships is being conscious about appreciating each other; making it a point to say “Thank you!” even when actions could have been assumed or expected. Even if it’s someone’s “job” to take out the garbage or wash the dishes, it still feels good to be appreciated. And it creates connection where resentment could have started to build. When I was recently asked why I care so much about men I felt more inspired to answer with gratitude and appreciation than I did with reasons. So here is my first attempt to appreciate for men, from my heart to yours, for the things you may not be appreciated for. With love,
Continue reading →Last day for major discount + a powerful way to end suffering
******************** If you want to join us for Authentic Magnetism with a huge discount, click here to learn more and register by midnight tonight. ******************** Part of having more of what you want means knowing when it’s time to take a break. It’s a powerful action, even if it seems like you’re moving in the opposite direction of what you want. People often take breaks from dating or commitment, but doing so doesn’t necessarily help. Because they don’t necessarily look deeper to discover what’s actually creating the pain. It’s not just dating or relationship as a whole. When you look deeper you start to see your habits and patterns that create suffering. So rather than a break from dating or relationship, try creating a break from settling, from checking out or from putting your needs last. Take a break from … Continue reading →
The Biggest Block to Having Passion AND Love
There’s something that stops many men from capturing women’s interest, igniting attraction, and having the love and sex you deserve. It may or may not be obvious it’s happening, but if you ever… Freeze, feel awkward or uncomfortable with women Doubt yourself or wonder if a woman would want you Have a hard time talking to women you’re attracted to Struggle to make the transition from conversation to sex feel natural …Then it’s happening The good news is I’ve seen this change for thousands of men and it can change for you, more easily than you think! Over the past few months I’ve organized a free training of dating and relationship experts to help you make this change — to have what you want with women. It will be well worth your time to join us for: Man Alive: Dating, … Continue reading →